Yet another reevaluation

I'm still running like shit, it's still tilting me, I'm playing bad because of it and I need to fix this, or I'll go broke. Plain and simple. I realize there are a select few people who actually read this blog on occasion, and to those select few: I'm sorry it's been the same old bullshit the last few months, and that this has turned more into a self-help/self-analysis thing than anything else even mildly entertaining. I wish I had awesomely successful months to tell you about, and advice for you on how to make 10k+ per month, but I can't do that if I can't even break even anymore.

It seems like the way it used to be was that even on my worst runs, my poker abilities were enough to push through it. I didn't need to have a constant eye on my mental state, I didn't have any confidence problems, I didn't have nearly as many -$1k days as I am today, and I didn't need to hire a mental game coach to help me manage it all.

Ultimately it comes down to me running like shit, dropping from my A game to my B game, and having such bad results that the tilt pounds me down to my F game where I lose massive amounts if it goes unchecked.

The beats are one thing. Looking at the theory, if I keep getting my money in good, in the long run I will profit. Fine, but when I run bad for long periods of time, I eventually fall of the "F game cliff", and have a LOT of trouble getting back on top of it. I've been on and off this cliff since the beginning of March (and counting). So how do I make sure I don't fall off again? One thing I can do is define my A/B/C/F games so that I know how close I am to doing so. Have certain characteristics and traits for each stage written down so I recognize where my head's at. Let's do that here:

A game:

-Always checking stats
-Can play 6-8 tables, but usually I'm playing 4-6
-Aware of opponents' state of mind
-Owning the preflop game
-Thinking before each decision
-Quitting when I need to
-Relaxed, clear mind
-Folding well with marginal hands vs lots of action from fish
-Managing pot size well
etc

B game:

-Forgetting some minor stats
-Playing more tables than I can manage
-Not aware of opponents' state of mind, dropping down a level in thinking?
-Making a few mistakes PF (not checking stack size, 4bet bluffing a bad spot, making weak calls vs 3bets etc)
-Not thinking before each decision fully
-Mind a little distracted, not focused
-Paying off fish a little
-Not paying attention to bet sizes
etc

C game:

-Often forgetting stats completely
-Playing 8 tables, refusing to drop tables because they're juicy
-Not thinking at all about opponents' states of mind
-Sloppy preflop play
-Rushing decisions
-Distracted, on autopilot
-Making sloppy calls, just 'hoping' I'm good
-Using betpot instead of thinking about bet sizing myself

F game:

-"On tilt". Furious, enraged, apeshit crazy tilty state of mind
-Not paying attention to breathing at all
-Backraising silly hands all in
-4bet bluffing way too much
-3betting too much
-3 barreling too much
-Check-raise bluffing in horrible spots
-Spewing in general

Just as both Tommy Angelo and Jared Tendler preach, if I can chop off the times when I'm playing at my worst (read: F game), I'll play poker with a higher percentage of A-C game, and as such make a higher hourly. Knock off the time I play my C game, and my hourly rises even further. By that logic I don't really need to even improve my A game in order to run a bigger winrate. I guess improving my A game will help me beat 2/4 for a bigger winrate and push me through the midstakes, but right now I need to stabilize myself to get back to actually winning at 1/2.

When I ordered Mr. Angelo's book I asked him to sign my book along with some advice for me, an aspiring professional. His advice: "Remember - order to win at poker, you have to be very good at losing". So that's #1 on my list: recognize when I'm approaching that F game dropoff, and quit. Wish me luck.

No really, I need some luck.