DOWNSWONG OVERRR!

Well I'm glad I finally broke down that psychological barrier. I've already explained all the crap I went through and the ensuing monkey tilt, and finally it seems to have subsided. I still ran into a couple nasty spots today, but all in all had what I think is my record high for a day's profits raking in $440 through about 2300 hands. Very very happy.

So I'm back on track, have conquered the tilt monster again and can't wipe the smile off my face. It's funny how variance can have such a strong hold on your emotions. One day I'm doubting if I can play profitable poker any more, the next I'm a king and don't ever need a dayjob :p

Some side notes (to self): study and practice postflop bluffing and semibluffing, pay internet bills, withdraw another good chunk of your BR and buy lots of booze for this weekend in Guelph (friend playing concert, yay!)

EDIT: oh, on another side note I've decided to use my FPPs to buy myself that Canon Rebel digital SLR camera. I've had the urge to get into photography for quite a while now, and if it all turns out alright I'll be updating you guys with (hopefully) great photos along with my poker progress :) Well that is unless I change my mind by the time I get this thing, which I often do (remember the 24" samsung monitor?). ~40k FPPs in the bank, 59k for the camera. We'll see...

Back on track, I think

Oh, the swings. They'll kill me one day.

I'm not sure what sparked it, maybe it was the 'times' getting tough around here in my real life, but I was in a very stressed mood for like 5 days there and it translated directly into lost money on the felts. I dropped around $900 before I smartened up yesterday and got back to 8-tabling full ring which netted me a nice $250 and put me back on track. I'm not sure what it is with 6-max, but I need serious coaching there or lots and lots of discipline from myself because it seems like I just can't beat it.

My play was getting a little ridiculous - I was in a state of mind of chasing losses that I hadn't seen in quite a while. I'm not sure why this is getting more frequent lately, but my guess is because of my personal life. I'm not playing as much, getting more slobbish and more idle, and it's getting pretty evident that my overall state of mind definitely translates into my poker game.

My confidence was basically shot and all I needed was a winning session to break me through that rough patch. I've been a little depressed lately for some reason (maybe the empty bottles of liquor and beer cans and an ashy pipe have something to do with it), and I've been trying to find ways to basically think positively to regain my confidence.

I'm a firm believer that if you're thinking positively then in general not much can go wrong, and conversely if you're dwelling on negative thoughts and have no confidence, a lot can go wrong (see the law of attraction, minus all the bullshit). Think about the last time you had a horrible downswing and couldn't get those past losses out of your mind; it sometimes seems like you can't possibly win. Now think about when you're playing poker or another sport and you're 'in the zone'. On a hot streak or just feeling in perfect physical shape or whatever - nothing ever seems to go wrong then. That's the state of mind I'm trying to reach at the moment but my issues away from the felts are basically keeping me in a mixed up emotional state and it's affecting my game.

As much as I'd like to sit down and continue to grind out full ring all day today, I have some tedious filing stuff to do for my mom so I'm not sure I'll be able to squeeze too much play in.

Back by popular demand (ie myself), we have Mr. Tilt-Killer again:

February review

Well even with my terrible streak in the last three days, I've still managed to make a record month in February and it's unfortunate I'm in such a bad mood that I can't appreciate it. It seems like the tilt is getting to me a little more often lately and I've been looking at ways to reduce it's effect and control it more.

Apologies for any lack of posts in the near future but I think it's break time for me, plus I have some stuff to attend to in real life anyways.

February 08:

• Played 19k hands of 100nl, 25nl 6-max and 100nl 6-max running at 5.7PTBB/100
• Maintained Gold status, failed miserably at achieving Platinum due to small number of hands
• Started considering playing 6-max more
• 6-tabled more than I 8-tabled; thought it would help but results say otherwise
  
• Peaked at $2,240 on the month, ended up netting a record $1,583 in profits

Goals for March 08:

Well to be honest I'm really not sure what I'm looking to achieve next month. I'd like to play a lot more hands (maybe 30k) and of course break my previous record for monthly profit, but I'm not sure I'll be able to with real life issues keeping me busy and stressed out. I guess I'll update the blog when I figure out what it is I should aim to achieve.

On a side note it looks like I won't win the Stoxpoker Project competition as ActionStan has a huge lead on both me and InsQQmniac. It's unfortunate as coaching from Ed Miller really would have been invaluable to my game, but I'll lick my wounds and keep on truckin'. ActionStan probably is the best candidate for the job, although I feel he needs a lot less help than me :p Anyways I wish him all the best since barring a miracle he's going to win this, and we'll all benefit from his shared experience over at Stox anyways.